Tuesday, November 27, 2007

the silence within

dear friends, today is surgery. i will be at the hospital in one hour.

the meeting with
dr naik and martha yesterday was illuminating. i learned more about these phyllodes tumors. that they are cancer, they are most certainly all breast cancer. and their malignancy is measured on a scale. miles of gray on that scale. so my tumor six years ago was classified as benign because is was the least possible malignant. that is the bare truth, medically. what is comforting, is that this is a type of breast cancer where the cure is surgery.

today, i get the cure. i am very, very grateful for that.

yesterday we prepared, my mom and i. she cleaned my apartment, which had fallen to ruin these past few weeks. i did mountains of laundry, grocery shopped for our days at the ocean and in the evening, went for a healing
reiki session. it was the best thing i could have done yesterday. jessica, my reiki master, helped put the turnip in a spiritual and personal growth context witch was really powerful, very calming. as i enter the operating room, i am looking at the tumor a little differently, as a teacher on my path. they say the final stage of grieving is acceptance and for today, i am there. i will write more about this in greater depth another day.

at 10 am they will insert a needle marker in the breast to guide
dr naik directly to the tumor. by noon, i will be in the operating room. the surgery should take a little over and hour. then i will be in recovery and sent home with painkillers later today.

send my light and love, dear ones. thank-you for holding me so well during this whole thing.

3 comments:

Sondra said...

Its 11am MST and you are in my thoughts and heart.
sending healing light and love,
Sondra

salmonpoetry said...

well, you are somewhere between the needle marker and the removal as i write this, and i'm sending you healing thoughts. i'm glad you'll get to come home tonight, and that your mom is there with you. and, in the bigger picture of things, i am glad that for this kind of cancer, surgery is a cure. best wishes for a gentle recovery.

Natalia said...

sending you lots and lots of love and healing energy your way. take good care of yourself, or let your mom do that. and when you are ready for some company or any kind of help, give me a holler.