the silence within

dear friends, today is surgery. i will be at the hospital in one hour.

the meeting with dr naik and martha yesterday was illuminating. i learned more about these phyllodes tumors. that they are cancer, they are most certainly all breast cancer. and their malignancy is measured on a scale. miles of gray on that scale. so my tumor six years ago was classified as benign because is was the least possible malignant. that is the bare truth, medically. what is comforting, is that this is a type of breast cancer where the cure is surgery.

today, i get the cure. i am very, very grateful for that.

yesterday we prepared, my mom and i. she cleaned my apartment, which had fallen to ruin these past few weeks. i did mountains of laundry, grocery shopped for our days at the ocean and in the evening, went for a healing reiki session. it was the best thing i could have done yesterday. jessica, my reiki master, helped put the turnip in a spiritual and personal growth context witch was really powerful, very calming. as i enter the operating room, i am looking at the tumor a little differently, as a teacher on my path. they say the final stage of grieving is acceptance and for today, i am there. i will write more about this in greater depth another day.

at 10 am they will insert a needle marker in the breast to guide dr naik directly to the tumor. by noon, i will be in the operating room. the surgery should take a little over and hour. then i will be in recovery and sent home with painkillers later today.

send my light and love, dear ones. thank-you for holding me so well during this whole thing.