the gut-wrench, part 3

i couldn't even write here on wednesday or thursday, i was too wiped out emotionally. wednesday started with a phone call from the hospital to let me know i was still not in the system as an 'insured person' and that unless i was bringing a $10,000 deposit with me on tuesday next, they would not be performing the surgery.

i immediately burst into tears. all the held back sobbing from other days broke loose.

i knew it was important for me to be in the system, but i didn't know that they would refuse to do the surgery on an 'uninsured person'. my instincts were right, however. to be pushing and fighting to finish the process. weeks i have been doing this, literally weeks and weeks.

so it's the day before a long holiday weekend and i am trying to finish this, quickly. the whole deal will be made, or broken, right then. every minute counts. i called the hospital again, asking for them to put more pressure on great west. they said they were only able to talk to the same customer service people that i was. getting nowhere fast. more people in customer service not empowered to serve.

the system is thriving, my friends, thriving.

crying, i call joanne, the director of benefits at my former employer. she is calm and loving, she is the mossy rock in this crazy raging river i'm being swept down, just yards from the big drop. i land, safely. joanne has the direct connection to the woman at great west that will re-activate me. joanne was almost out the door for the day, but the fates were on my team this time. she promised to call her contact and make it happen, then to call the hospital and confirm it all to be certain.

i passed the whole ugly mess onto joanne and she took it, gracefully. oh, my god. thank-you. i found a lot to be thankful for this thanksgiving holiday. topping the list is this woman. she had the power to make a huge difference and she said "no problem".

finally i had to walk the dog, get away from the whole thing. then i went to the studio and sorted my affirmation ring inventory. i couldn't create, but i could do mindless tasks.

then the hospital called. i was showing up, back in the system. legitimate once more. i was safe! they were going through the pre-authorizations process for the actual surgery, but that was nothing to worry about.

i couldn't write until now, i was like a dishrag, slapped on the rocks and wrung out hard.