at last, i have an appointment to meet with the surgeon. it's only two days away. another two days of waiting, of motivation-crushing limbo. ARGH! thankfully, the breast nurse called me yesterday afternoon to answer questions and really helped sooth my distress. have you local portlanders heard the OHSU breast center's commercials? with martha? well, that's the nurse who called me. the martha from the commercials is a real person, a real, kind caring person.
listen to how much magic is in this internet. a fan of my other blog, found object, is friends with martha. she emailed martha the link to this blog and just that quick, martha was calling me to offer support, information and a sooner time slot to see the surgeon. yesterday morning, i was going to have to wait a whole week to see the surgeon and until wednesday to talk to martha.(thanks, jenni!)
and i am going to be seeing a woman surgeon, one who has experience with this particular type of rare tumor. that is also reassuring.
today i am just trying to focus on the positives. positives like i found this one much earlier than the last time. so it's smaller, which hopefully is better. certainly it means i lose less of my breast. fingers crossed.
i found this one because do my self breast exams every month now. prior to the tumor in 2001, i rarely did self breast exams. sure, i hung the exam guide in my shower and fooled myself into thinking that i was, in fact paying attention.
but i wasn't.
truth is, doing the exams scared me, made me feel a bit squeamish to be poking around.
despite the guides, i didn't really know what i was doing or what i was supposed to be feeling. my last surgeon actually taught me how to do the exams and explained what i was feeling in there. it's like learning the geography of your body. and it's a shifting landscape throughout your cycle. i finally learned that i should always do them the same time of the month, about 5 days after my period starts.
when you know the lay of the land, it's easy to feel something new.
breast exams. do you?