Friday, November 9, 2007

the date at last

i have a date. bittersweet but better than romance, it's a date for surgery. what a relief to see the surgeon yesterday, dr. arpana naik. she seems young, but is experienced with these strange tumors. which as it turns out, i think will be much better than an older surgeon who hasn't seen but one in his long career. (like last time)

my brain is still swimming from all the information. i have options to weigh and they may turn out to be heavy ones. there are still significant unknowns. thank goodness for my friend pam's excellent clear head and notes. and hugs. all the virtual hugs are fantastic, yet a live-in-person hug is still the best there is. i didn't even realize how much i needed it until her arms were around me.

i am reassured by the excellent care i am getting. very caring and very thorough. talking over all the possible outcomes and options is without a doubt, overwhelming. i am learning so much about these tumors. martha, my nurse has to be the most patient person ever born. what a gem. i am very blessed to have her support through this.

somehow having the dates for each step of this process on my calender makes things solid in a way that is easier to deal with. like a calming to-do list on paper, vrs the stress of having a jumble of things nagging your mind. now i can lay out my next few weeks, make plans for my mom to come out and go about my business.

the date with surgery is the week right after thanksgiving. november 27, which is perfect. i can still do my holiday show on the 17th and my studio sale on the first friday in december. i really, really need to get back to my business.

today i am awake and out of bed earlier than i have been in two weeks. that is a good sign that the intense feeling of being stuck is passing. either that, or the terror over money is finally getting me to the studio to produce!


Maryam in Marrakesh said...

Okay, that is great, great news! Must be such a relief to be able to focus on a date. I know you have a show coming up but make sure to eat plenty of good food and get plenty sleep in the lead up to the surgery so that your body is rested and ready. Also try to bring in something beautiful from home for your hospital room. Beauty heals. But then again you would know that since your work is all about creating beauty.:-)

Tay said...

Oh, it is SUCH a relief to have that date as a goal to get past. I am doing the best I can with taking care and working. Thank-you for sharing all the beauty you do, Maryam. :)

Natalia said...

so glad to hear that you have a date, so at least that piece is not yet another unknown for you. glad to hear too that you are getting back into the studio. i hope that you are somehow able to channel your feelings into your work, or perhaps find escape from this corporeal world in the beauty of your art.