Wednesday, November 28, 2007

relief + gratitude

the turnip is gone! pain and soreness remain, but those will pass. it was a very, very long day yesterday and i feel like my breast was hit by a mack truck. i am filled with relief that this part is over.

i didn't get to talk to dr. naik after the surgery (she talked my mom) so i don't have clear details. what i did hear, second hand, is that she was very surprised at how large it was. dr naik compared the size to a satsuma
mandarin orange! it was all the way down to the muscle on the chest wall, so a great portion of it was hiding from our earlier screening.

i have not dared look at how much is, or isn't, left of my breast. i know it's considerably smaller. more information and thoughts on that later. it's a lot to process, emotionally.

right now, mom has gone to the pharmacy to get the pain meds, because the surgery was 3 hours late starting, by the time we finished, the hospital pharmacy was closed. i was home last night in my own bed, but didn't sleep much.

so i'll sign off now with a deep thank you for all your prayers, messages, healing energy and love. all those hours waiting yesterday, i could feel the circle of light surrounding me, coming from near and very far, to hold me. it was such a profound feeling of being taken care of and i received it. bless you all.

7 comments:

salmonpoetry said...

oh, yay, Tay! the surgery is over! I had been waiting for your post.

I know it must be an awful lot to process at the moment, but at least you are over the surgery part and can begin on the path to healing. And hopefully being at the beach will help to put it all in perspective, help you to feel whole. I know for me nature is always such a grounding and healing reminder of the magic and energy of life and my place in the bigger picture.

And, I am glad that the turnip is finally gone. I have worked with cancer cells in the lab, and they are so incredibly powerful with a mind of their own. One must afford them a certain amount of respect, being of one's own body and all, but it is best to be rid of them.

That is probably way more than you need at the moment.
Sending an electronic hug your way with warm wishes for your recovery.

RetroChrome said...

Tay,

I am sitting here, teary-eyed, catching up on the last few days of your blog.

I am so glad that the surgery is over and I really hope your recovery time is gentle, nurturing, and a time to really heal.

Lots of love,

Jess/blu

Terence said...

I'm glad to hear that you're through the surgery. You were on my mind all day yesterday-- I pray that you have a speedy and peaceful next few days of recovery as you move forward.

Sending you a warm, gentle hug.

-T

nimisha said...

Get well, Tay. Eat, drink, watch movies, laugh, cry, be loved, and heal.

Tay said...

thank-you, dear ones. I am resting and applying ice packs. Mom made chicken soup and we are relaxing. Recovery goes well.

Amber said...

I thought of you when I woke up this morning. I wondered how differently you felt with the turnip gone and the journey of the healing process ahead of you.

It seems like you got great insurance coverage for the healing process...good family, good friends and a warm open heart.

Continue to receive and process the lessons, the messages and the love as I can't wait to see the creative product that is born out of all this.

Amber Jo

Barbara said...

Hi Tay - I'm a reader of Maryam in Marrakesh.....and I have cancer...I'm getting my longed for trip to Morocco via Maryam! I hope you are recovering well. After my 4 surgeries in three years I understand your fears. I can't even watch a medical drama on TV now. If surgery is the cure you are so lucky. I wish you a good recovery and a long life.