what are breasts for? i've been thinking about this as i contemplate letting go of a portion of mine. biologically, they exist to nurse babies. yet i've never used them for this purpose, nor do i intend to. don't misunderstand, i am a big fan of breastfeeding, i just don't plan to birth any babies in this lifetime.
so my breasts, i guess they are simply decorative. they provide visual balance to my figure. they fill out clothes nicely. they look good in pretty underthings. i can pull off a sexy halloween costume, should i care to. these are all good things. things that i count on. it's strange to realize that i depend on my breasts to serve this function and i value it.
so that's it. decorative objects.
when i waited tables and tended bar, i used to joke that my breasts were just shelves to catch spills. classically, the white shirt would have a near magnetic attraction to coffee, making stains like leaking nipples down my front. hilarious, right?
ok, so actually they are decorative shelves to catch stains. great.
but i still want them. i do. and it's eating at me, since i concluded yesterday that i will ask dr naik for the most aggressive margins. take as much tissue as necessary to prevent another reoccurance. head cancer off at the pass. i cannot keep going through this, it's brutal.
as much as i want this tumor out, suddenly my breast, my body, is feeling very much more precious and vulnerable.