rads, day 7: overwhelmed

i hate to admit it, but i am tired today, my friends. 7 radiation treatments done, 26 to go. it seems an eternity. my breast is very tender and beginning to swell. all my self-healing routines are in place now. all the chinese medicine herbs have been provided through your generous donations. thank-you for those herbs and the love they represent.

it's a big task, keeping on top of the healing curve. i've got to be super organized each day. there is so much paying attention. did i get enough protein today? oops, it's time to eat and i was supposed to take my herbs 1/2 hour before. shit, i am late and now there is no time to make juice. run out the door, sit in traffic, lay on the radiation table, rush home. make the juice finally. ah, it's the green medicine i crave.

ramone and eric are my rads techs. they let me listen to my ipod and i am not even pretending to keep the volume low so they may talk to me. they use motions if they need to communicate, i mostly close my eyes anyway. pink martini keeps me far away, in the beautiful world of my imagination. i smile while i am getting the treatment, i believe my cells will get the message. don't worry, healthy cells, i know this is hard. we will weather this storm together, my dears. and in a few weeks, you can rest.

i am looking forward to the day i get my body back. march 20 can't come soon enough.