oh, please. i just want to stop. the. burning.
i am doing everything right. doing above and beyond to help my body cope, help it heal. herbs, salves, vitamins, creams, rest, ice. tending to this breast is my full time job now. the doc assures me this reaction is normal. that my increasingly burnt skin is looking very much like many other patients have.
the armpit and under the breast where anything i wear for support will rub, those places are the worst. i am afraid of the day when it becomes one mass of angry weeping blisters. i cannot wear a bra. i am living with the shades drawn.
i feel more angry than i have in all these months. it's an icky feeling. my inner toddler wants to throw a fit and lay in her bed and howl. i want my mom.
my radiation oncologist did agree to let me take the schedule down to four days a week. i feel it's a choice that will be good damage control on my skin's burns and some relief for my bleak outlook.
my friends, i know you mean well. but, please don't tell me i am in the home stretch, or it all will soon be over. i know that, of course i know that. but hearing it just makes me mad. because right here? right now? it's so awful i feel i can barely stand it.
yet stand it i will. and the new finish date is march 26.