Friday, January 25, 2008

positive intention

this week i feel like i went up to full speed in life. it's been freezing cold and sunny everyday, which tends to be strangely energizing weather for me. so i've been very social, seeing friends for most meals and working like a honeybee in my studio.

although in a hive for one, it can get a little lonely.

thank goodness for music. and books-on-cd. maybe you wonder what gets me through the day? it's a warm and healthy mash of
pink martini's new album, hey eugene. with a hefty dose of a belle & sebastian mix, the soundtracks from french films amelie and the triplets of belleville. plus some wise words from pema chodron, the down-to-earth buddhist nun.

my hours alone in my bright jewelry studio, with good music feeding my soul like medicine, has given me an opening in my thoughts. i've been pondering intention. my dear blogging friend
maryam, of my marrakesh left me a comment a few weeks ago and mentioned her thing for the new year: positive intent. she planted a little seed that has this week been finding soil and sun. it's begun to put down some tender roots into my brain, getting comfortable bit by bit.

a week ago i was so fed up and distressed about money and time and how the hell was i ever going to make it. i hit a break point and sat down to write a budget, as i have done many times in my life. this one was radically different, however. usually, there are many more things in the expense column than in the income.

this time, i decided to tell the universe exactly what was needed for me to make it.
the basics.

putting my intention in ink, i figured out my total income needed per month and then broke it down into specifics. how many pairs of earrings would i need to sell? 56. how many affirmation rings? 66. how many lockets? 46. how many belt buckles? only 10. this was getting interesting.

gathering steam, i went a bit farther. what if i broke down my medical insurance into bite-size pieces? i wrote it down. five donations of $52 per month would cover the payment. it started to look more manageable the more i wrote.

this week, since that written positive intention list, has been eye-opening. two amazing media opportunities were offered to me. (more on that later) inquires about ordering rings came in. everyday, someone made a purchase from my bread + butter collection. from out of the blue, a family member sent a generous check. i received an offer to be supported and share a booth vending at a show that has been very good for me in the past, but i had decided i wouldn't risk committing to, not knowing the effects of radiation on my energy. there were lots of other small everyday kindnesses that flooded my days with sweetness as well.

a serious shower of blessings from
totally unexpected sources came raining down.

this positive intent stuff is powerful. the negative voice in the back of my head has had to surrender, even while nastily calling out, "well, but what about next week?" in the past, i would have sat down and really listened to that voice. today i am just turning up my music and drowning it out.

next week is going to be great, i say to myself. not pollyanna, just grounded positive intention. moving forward. looking for the good, the sweet, the precious. surrounding myself with good energy. allowing myself to be held. acknowledging
that you, right there reading this at your computer are part of my healing. you showing up today is proof that positive intention works.

i am crying as i write this. warm tears of gratitude. i know i keep saying thank-you. i hope that doesn't sound old by now. it means more everyday on this journey
.

thank-you is the perfect partner to positive intention.

14 comments:

Laurie Constantino said...

I've been down lately over continuing effects of my ruptured aneurysm nine months ago. This helped, thank you.

Tay said...

laurie, i continue to return to your blog and be warmed and delighted by your stories and recipes. i am so glad you are writing it. thanks for your support and encouragement of me, i always get a little happy tingle of "greece" when i think of you.

Anonymous said...

no tay, thank you. thank you for your words, your open heart, and your willingness to share this journey. you inspire and it is beautiful. i check your blog everyday hoping that you have posted. today i had chills...truth does that to me. thank you. i really want to share a booth with you.
heather

salmonpoetry said...

so good to hear Tay! i am glad that the sun has been shining down on you this week (as it will continue to, even when the clouds outside return).
just to let you know, i have really been enjoying wearing your jewelry. i wear a piece almost every day, and it makes me feel beautiful and special!
keep up your passion, and there will be no stopping you.

Tay said...

heather...me too!
lisa...so glad my jewelry make syou feel so good, that's the best compliment i could possibly get, thank-you!

Anonymous said...

Sending more positive vibes your way and just thinking of you,

Jan "the other turnip"

Sondra said...

Tay,
What a corner to have turned. It is amazing what the universe has in store for us. "Around each corner is a new adventure" is what I used to tell my girls when they were little and tired of walking. And, sure enough, there was always a new kitty or flower or something quite special that we would spy.
(Thank you for bringing this memory to the forefront.)
I had lunch with my god-daughter last week and she was wearing the beautiful locket I got for her from you. She said she gets compliments on it every day and loves the feeling of having it on.
She leaves for Senegal the end of the month and it's going with her.
Anyway, Love hearing the "up-side"
Love and Light and healing Energy,
Sondra
ps.. I love the martinis and the "triplet" too.

Sondra said...

Tay,
This so reminds me of your work.

http://oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/explorations/02sab/logs/aug15/media/porpida_post.html

Jenni's husband sent it to me. Looks like your locket in the center.
Love,
Sondra

Tay said...

Jan...thanks for hanging in here with me.

Sondra...beautiful recollection, thanks for sharing. and the link to oceanic photos is lovely, too.

illion maybe said...

Buzz buzz busy bee
buzzing like buddha
buddha gong
blog words chime like crystal bells
resonating
chiming
inspiring all of us who cry with you
and try with you to make everything better
You are our success
reflected in our tears, illuminated by the warm glow of our computer screens

illion maybe said...

Buzz buzz busy bee
buzzing like buddha
buddha gong
blog words chime like crystal bells
resonating
chiming
inspiring all of us who cry with you
and try with you to make everything better
You are our success
reflected in our tears, illuminated by the warm glow of our computer screens

Love, Ian

illion maybe said...

Oops, well I guess if a comments worth making its worth making twice

Tay said...

oh Ian! thank-you. That is so beautiful.

Maryam in Marrakesh said...

Darling Tay,
I can't tell you what pleasure it gives me to read this. Thank you.

Thinking of you in Marrakech