positive intention

this week i feel like i went up to full speed in life. it's been freezing cold and sunny everyday, which tends to be strangely energizing weather for me. so i've been very social, seeing friends for most meals and working like a honeybee in my studio.

although in a hive for one, it can get a little lonely.

thank goodness for music. and books-on-cd. maybe you wonder what gets me through the day? it's a warm and healthy mash of pink martini's new album, hey eugene. with a hefty dose of a belle & sebastian mix, the soundtracks from french films amelie and the triplets of belleville. plus some wise words from pema chodron, the down-to-earth buddhist nun.

my hours alone in my bright jewelry studio, with good music feeding my soul like medicine, has given me an opening in my thoughts. i've been pondering intention. my dear blogging friend maryam, of my marrakesh left me a comment a few weeks ago and mentioned her thing for the new year: positive intent. she planted a little seed that has this week been finding soil and sun. it's begun to put down some tender roots into my brain, getting comfortable bit by bit.

a week ago i was so fed up and distressed about money and time and how the hell was i ever going to make it. i hit a break point and sat down to write a budget, as i have done many times in my life. this one was radically different, however. usually, there are many more things in the expense column than in the income.

this time, i decided to tell the universe exactly what was needed for me to make it. the basics.

putting my intention in ink, i figured out my total income needed per month and then broke it down into specifics. how many pairs of earrings would i need to sell? 56. how many affirmation rings? 66. how many lockets? 46. how many belt buckles? only 10. this was getting interesting.

gathering steam, i went a bit farther. what if i broke down my medical insurance into bite-size pieces? i wrote it down. five donations of $52 per month would cover the payment. it started to look more manageable the more i wrote.

this week, since that written positive intention list, has been eye-opening. two amazing media opportunities were offered to me. (more on that later) inquires about ordering rings came in. everyday, someone made a purchase from my bread + butter collection. from out of the blue, a family member sent a generous check. i received an offer to be supported and share a booth vending at a show that has been very good for me in the past, but i had decided i wouldn't risk committing to, not knowing the effects of radiation on my energy. there were lots of other small everyday kindnesses that flooded my days with sweetness as well.

a serious shower of blessings from totally unexpected sources came raining down.

this positive intent stuff is powerful. the negative voice in the back of my head has had to surrender, even while nastily calling out, "well, but what about next week?" in the past, i would have sat down and really listened to that voice. today i am just turning up my music and drowning it out.

next week is going to be great, i say to myself. not pollyanna, just grounded positive intention. moving forward. looking for the good, the sweet, the precious. surrounding myself with good energy. allowing myself to be held. acknowledging that you, right there reading this at your computer are part of my healing. you showing up today is proof that positive intention works.

i am crying as i write this. warm tears of gratitude. i know i keep saying thank-you. i hope that doesn't sound old by now. it means more everyday on this journey.

thank-you is the perfect partner to positive intention.