stepping out of fear

well, my dear friends, there is big news over on my other blog today. i'm stepping out into the world with my business in a new way, with a new name. check it out right here. it's exciting and i am thrilled to be lining up my business name with positive intention and abundance.

what's in a name? for me, hopefully an clear indication of the future.

i was into panic mode when i wrote my last post here. it comes and goes like the wind. i should know by now that getting scared and shutting down, looking at choices as black & white - that isn't who i essentially am. that is my bullshit, my baggage. i would sure like it to be my past! for all those messy, nasty fears to stay in the past. but i think i've got to just make peace with them. judging myself harshly for being scared is just compounding the problem.

a friend wrote to me last week about the latest book by eckhart tolle called the new earth. she was burning to send me a copy and i was so caught up in my crappy state of mind, i said, oh no. just bring me your copy when we meet in august, there's no rush. ah, what a wise friend. she reads this blog and sees that i need the teachings of that book to bring me back to grace. (thank-you, h.) so, in my typical fashion, this weekend i read an article about the book in oprah's magazine and immediately felt better. for about the 1,000th time, i saw my busy, panic-driven mind for what it was. not me, the real me, but just my busy, panic-driven mind. and, i realized something that has been poking at me for months and months as well. what my life is missing is stillness. mediation is the tonic i need, not talk therapy. i've had plenty of that in this lifetime. and my talking-processing type of therapy is really happening here on turnip.

thanks for listening, by the way. *cringe* -you all are so good to me!

it's time to return to the zen center. time to set up a place of uncluttered stillness in my home and get back to practice. because i do know from past experience that in the present moment, each moment i am truly present, fear floats away and my abundant mind expands. this was part of my intention when i quit my day job, to return to a sustaining spiritual practice.

i'm taking off early tomorrow morning for michigan. a dear old friend is getting married and i will be visiting my family as an added bonus. after these past few months, it will be especially wonderful to snuggle my sweet nieces and nephews. i may get a chance to write while away, but am not planning on it.

til then, talk amongst yourselves.