first order of business: the back is way, way better. it took quite a bit longer to heal than this impatient, sick-of-being-a-patient would like. but thankfully, it is nearly 100%. i am so grateful to a new chiropractor of mine who is a miracle worker. i asked the universe for a female practitioner, under my insurance plan, less than two miles from my home and with an opening to treat me nearly immediately. seems like a rather tall order, doesn't it?
amazingly, the universe delivered the perfect chiropractor for my needs. huge sigh of relief.
thank-you for all your concerned comments and support, i really appreciate it.
a couple of weeks ago, i was panicking about my business, about the rapidly dwindling bank account and wringing my hands in a perfectly inefficient manner over however was i going to make it?
i had a couple of sessions with the colon hydrotherapy and started walking everyday and badaboom! things looked different. in fact, nothing had changed except how i was looking at my life. the bank account was still frightening, the post office was still delivering bills in a tireless fashion. i just snapped out of my deprivation mind set and rediscovered my abundance mind set.
i'm here to report, i am holding steady. abundance, abundance, abundance. let's say it all together now. a chant in the back of the brain. how wonderful it would be if i could get all those crazy monkeys in there to chant the good stuff, the messages i am trying to believe with all my being!
funny thing is, when i look at the evidence, i see that believing in abundance does seem to work. the chant, (along with actions like marketing my jewelry & going to the studio) appears to inspire sales. or, sales follow a change in my mind set. sounds so freaking easy when i write it down like that.
yet the stark reality is, i have only enough in savings to cover a couple of months at the most. sales may continue to increase and business expand into a comfortable income...but what if it doesn't? so i am brought to this:
i've been pondering getting another job, one that provided health insurance. i'm wondering if i do that, does that mean i am failing at my business? would i be letting down all the people that have been inspired by my journey this past year? yet, i am so weary of struggle. for the last few years, with two jobs and my business, it was a struggle to take care of myself well and i became very socially isolated. since november, with just one part time job and my full time business, it's been a struggle to survive financially and pay my bills. oh, wait. yeeees. there was also that whole breast cancer thing for months and months. my health insurance premium just increased by $45 a month. the weight of carrying all that feels too heavy for just me many days.
truth is, i don't want to have to choose between living a healthy, balanced life and being able to make a living. it's hard to sort out the right path at this point. i don't know how my leap into doing my business full time would have gone if the cancer chapter had never been written. would i be making it right now and living the life i imagined, the life i planned so carefully?
i sure like to think so.