finding joy again

Since I last wrote, my life has been consumed with job searching. writing one resume, then another version, then another. each new job listing requires a new version of the resume and a carefully crafted cover letter.

There is an art to this thing I am doing, to job searching.

All I have power over is what I put out into the world. This resume, these letters, my smiling face and best gifts. Somehow, I've been trying to express my energy, my outlook, my essence in these applications. Nothing less will get attention in this fierce job market. To even gain an interview will be cause for celebration.

I am remaining open, flexible. At the same time, learning to articulate who I am now and where I would most love to contribute in this world of ours. It's a bit exciting, wondering about what is next. Each job listing I apply for I get a little invested, I let myself fall in love with the job, just a bit, just enough.

And I've been inspired creatively since my decision to place my jewelry business on the back burner. Once I let go of the idea that I needed to make pieces for market, both my ideas and enthusiasm have flowed naturally back. I am paying attention to that truth. Without the pressures and constraints of profit & loss, my creative self expands. I can make objects and not keep track of how long they take to complete. I can let the art determine what materials to use and when it is finished! There is much to learn here in this life transition. Starting to think about art as joy, not as my work, brings a deep sigh of relief. Perhaps owning my own business is not the end-all, be-all of existence.

This past year has not been one with enough joy. For long stretches the joy completely vanished from my life. It no doubt lurked in the corners, just out of my field of vision. I am ready for more joy. To find it and to cultivate it. Life without joy is simply surviving.